"Medicine, electronic communications, space travel, genetic manipulation . . . these are the miracles about which we now tell our children. These are the miracles we herald as proof that science will bring us the answers. The ancient stories of immaculate conceptions, burning bushes, and parting seas are no longer relevant. God has become obsolete. Science has won the battle. We concede."
A rustle of confusion and bewilderment swept through the chapel.
"But science's victory," he added, his voice intensifying, "has cost every one of us. And it has cost us deeply. Science may have alleviated the miseries of disease and drudgery and provided an array of gadgetry for our entertainment and convenience, but it has left us in a world without wonder. Our sunsets have been reduced to wavelengths and frequencies. The complexities of the universe have been shredded into mathematical equations. Even our self-worth as human beings has been destroyed. Science proclaims that Planet Earth and its inhabitants are a meaningless speck in the grand scheme. A cosmic accident.
"To science, I say this. Your world moves so fast that if you stop even for a moment to consider the implications of your actions, someone more efficient will whip past you in a blur. So you move on. . . . Show me proof there is a God, you say. I say use your telescopes to look to the heavens, and tell me how there could not be a God! You ask what does God look like. I say, where did that question come from? The answers are one and the same. Do you not see God in your science? How can you miss Him! You proclaim that even the slightest change in the force of gravity or the weight of an atom would have rendered our universe a lifeless mist rather than our magnificent sea of bodies, and yet you fail to see God's hand in this? Is it really so much easier to believe that we simply chose the right card from a deck of billions? Have we become so spiritually bankrupt that we would rather believe in mathematical impossibility than in a power greater than us?
"Whether or not you believe in God, you must believe this. When we as a species abandon our trust in the power greater than us, we abandon our sense of accountability. Faith . . . all faiths . . . are admonitions that there is something we cannot understand, somthing to which we are accountable . . . With faith we are accountable to each other, to ourselves, and to a higher truth."
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STEPHEN COLBERT: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I've been asked to make an announcement. Whoever parked 14 black bulletproof S.U.V.'s out front, could you please move them? They are blocking in 14 other black bulletproof S.U.V.'s and they need to get out.
Wow. Wow, what an honor. The White House correspondents' dinner. To actually sit here, at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush, to be this close to the man. I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You know what? I'm a pretty sound sleeper -- that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face. Is he really not here tonight? Dammit. The one guy who could have helped.
By the way, before I get started, if anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Somebody from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail. Mark Smith, ladies and gentlemen of the press corps, Madame First Lady, Mr. President, my name is Stephen Colbert and tonight it's my privilege to celebrate this president. We're not so different, he and I. We get it. We're not brainiacs on the nerd patrol. We're not members of the factinista. We go straight from the gut, right sir? That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. I know some of you are going to say "I did look it up, and that's not true." That's 'cause you looked it up in a book.
Next time, look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that's how our nervous system works. Every night on my show, the Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, OK? I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it the "No Fact Zone." Fox News, I hold a copyright on that term.
I'm a simple man with a simple mind. I hold a simple set of beliefs that I live by. Number one, I believe in America. I believe it exists. My gut tells me I live there. I feel that it extends from the Atlantic to the Pacific, and I strongly believe it has 50 states. And I cannot wait to see how the Washington Post spins that one tomorrow. I believe in democracy. I believe democracy is our greatest export. At least until China figures out a way to stamp it out of plastic for three cents a unit.
In fact, Ambassador Zhou Wenzhong, welcome. Your great country makes our Happy Meals possible. I said it's a celebration. I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.
I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I believe it is possible -- I saw this guy do it once in Cirque du Soleil. It was magical. And though I am a committed Christian, I believe that everyone has the right to their own religion, be you Hindu, Jewish or Muslim. I believe there are infinite paths to accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
Ladies and gentlemen, I believe it's yogurt. But I refuse to believe it's not butter. Most of all, I believe in this president.
Now, I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in "reality." And reality has a well-known liberal bias.
So, Mr. President, please, pay no attention to the people that say the glass is half full. 32% means the glass -- it's important to set up your jokes properly, sir. Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash. Okay, look, folks, my point is that I don't believe this is a low point in this presidency. I believe it is just a lull before a comeback.
I mean, it's like the movie "Rocky." All right. The president in this case is Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed is -- everything else in the world. It's the tenth round. He's bloodied. His corner man, Mick, who in this case I guess would be the vice president, he's yelling, "Cut me, Dick, cut me!," and every time he falls everyone says, "Stay down! Stay down!" Does he stay down? No. Like Rocky, he gets back up, and in the end he -- actually, he loses in the first movie.
OK. Doesn't matter. The point is it is the heart-warming story of a man who was repeatedly punched in the face. So don't pay attention to the approval ratings that say 68% of Americans disapprove of the job this man is doing. I ask you this, does that not also logically mean that 68% approve of the job he's not doing? Think about it. I haven't.
I stand by this man. I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message: that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound -- with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.
Now, there may be an energy crisis. This president has a very forward-thinking energy policy. Why do you think he's down on the ranch cutting that brush all the time? He's trying to create an alternative energy source. By 2008 we will have a mesquite-powered car!
And I just like the guy. He's a good joe. Obviously loves his wife, calls her his better half. And polls show America agrees. She's a true lady and a wonderful woman. But I just have one beef, ma'am.
I'm sorry, but this reading initiative. I'm sorry, I've never been a fan of books. I don't trust them. They're all fact, no heart. I mean, they're elitist, telling us what is or isn't true, or what did or didn't happen. Who's Britannica to tell me the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say it was built in 1941, that's my right as an American! I'm with the president, let history decide what did or did not happen.
The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change; this man's beliefs never will. As excited as I am to be here with the president, I am appalled to be surrounded by the liberal media that is destroying America, with the exception of Fox News. Fox News gives you both sides of every story: the president's side, and the vice president's side.
But the rest of you, what are you thinking, reporting on NSA wiretapping or secret prisons in eastern Europe? Those things are secret for a very important reason: they're super-depressing. And if that's your goal, well, misery accomplished. Over the last five years you people were so good -- over tax cuts, WMD intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn't want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew.
But, listen, let's review the rules. Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know - fiction!
Because really, what incentive do these people have to answer your questions, after all? I mean, nothing satisfies you. Everybody asks for personnel changes. So the White House has personnel changes. Then you write, "Oh, they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic." First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!
Now, it's not all bad guys out there. Some are heroes: Christopher Buckley, Jeff Sacks, Ken Burns, Bob Schieffer. They've all been on my show. By the way, Mr. President, thank you for agreeing to be on my show. I was just as shocked as everyone here is, I promise you. How's Tuesday for you? I've got Frank Rich, but we can bump him. And I mean bump him. I know a guy. Say the word.
See who we've got here tonight. General Moseley, Air Force Chief of Staff. General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. They still support Rumsfeld. Right, you guys aren't retired yet, right? Right, they still support Rumsfeld.
Look, by the way, I've got a theory about how to handle these retired generals causing all this trouble: don't let them retire! Come on, we've got a stop-loss program; let's use it on these guys. I've seen Zinni and that crowd on Wolf Blitzer. If you're strong enough to go on one of those pundit shows, you can stand on a bank of computers and order men into battle. Come on.
Jesse Jackson is here, the Reverend. Haven't heard from the Reverend in a little while. I had him on the show. Very interesting and challenging interview. You can ask him anything, but he's going to say what he wants, at the pace that he wants. It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.
Justice Scalia is here. Welcome, sir. May I be the first to say, you look fantastic. How are you? [After each sentence, Colbert makes a hand gesture, an allusion to Scalia's recent use of an obscene Sicilian hand gesture in speaking to a reporter about Scalia's critics. Scalia is seen laughing hysterically.] Just talking some Sicilian with my paisan.
John McCain is here. John McCain, John McCain, what a maverick! Somebody find out what fork he used on his salad, because I guarantee you it wasn't a salad fork. This guy could have used a spoon! There's no predicting him. By the way, Senator McCain, it's so wonderful to see you coming back into the Republican fold. I have a summer house in South Carolina; look me up when you go to speak at Bob Jones University. So glad you've seen the light, sir.
Mayor Nagin! Mayor Nagin is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city! Yeah, give it up. Mayor Nagin, I'd like to welcome you to Washington, D.C., the chocolate city with a marshmallow center. And a graham cracker crust of corruption. It's a Mallomar, I guess is what I'm describing, a seasonal cookie.
Joe Wilson is here, Joe Wilson right down here in front, the most famous husband since Desi Arnaz. And of course he brought along his lovely wife Valerie Plame. Oh, my god. [looks horrified] Oh, what have I said? I -- Je- minetti (sp?). I am sorry, Mr. President, I meant to say he brought along his lovely wife Joe Wilson's wife. Patrick Fitzgerald is not here tonight? OK. Dodged a bullet.
And, of course, we can't forget the man of the hour, new press secretary, Tony Snow. Secret Service name, "Snow Job." Toughest job. What a hero. Took the second toughest job in government, next to, of course, the ambassador to Iraq.
Got some big shoes to fill, Tony. Big shoes to fill. Scott McClellan could say nothing like nobody else. McClellan, of course, eager to retire. Really felt like he needed to spend more time with Andrew Card's children. Mr. President, I wish you hadn't made the decision so quickly, sir.
I was vying for the job myself. I think I would have made a fabulous press secretary. I have nothing but contempt for these people. I know how to handle these clowns.
In fact, sir, I brought along an audition tape and with your indulgence, I'd like to at least give it a shot. So, ladies and gentlemen, my press conference.
BEGINNING OF "AUDITION TAPE"
END OF "AUDITION TAPE"
STEPHEN COLBERT: Helen Thomas, ladies and gentlemen. Mr. Smith, members of the White House Correspondents Association, Madame First Lady, Mr. President, it's been a true honor. Thank you very much. Good night!
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Okay, so I didn't quite keep up on my resolution... a couple entries in a row mid-September, then none till I fell in love with Kermit's wise words. Oh well.
What has been going on? Well, I started school, and this is our third week. I am a little tired, but for the most part, juggling school and work hasn't been too bad. I went to mass last week for the first time in ages, and it really did feel good. Perhaps I will go this weekend; we shall see. I'm planning to join Beta Alpha Psi, the cool hip accounting fraternity (now there's an oxymoron if I've ever heard one), but it is going to take a lot more time and effort than I really thought it would. Apparently it's quite a resume booster, though, so I guess I'll just have to add one more thing to my plate.
Last weekend, Aleem was out of town, so I had planned to study a lot. Yeah, that didn't happen. Instead, on Friday, Lisa and I had dinner with mom at Wild Ginger. Delicious! I picked up my suit, which I had turned in for alterations, then got my new jeans hemmed. Those are going to look HOT with my heels! Then Lisa and I went to West Seattle Stadium to watch Matt's football game, then came home - late - to crash. Spent a lot of QT with the siblings though, so it was a good nite over all. Sidenote: QT? What am I, 13??
Saturday, I got my ass up at 630am (!!!) to proctor the LSAT. Got to school around 730am, woke up around 10am, and got all my Econ homework done while proctoring, while also managing to squeeze in a couple of ass kickings in dominoes, playing Arliss. Good times. After the LSAT, went home, and went with mom to this little asian tailor shop, where I got fitted for a dress in the most horrific color ever. Okay, so it isn't SO bad, when compared to colors like puce, or mustard. I will never do that to my bridesmaids. They will be swadlded in lovely colors like rose, or lavender, or something equally aesthetically pleasing - that is, of couse, making quite a big assumption - that I will actually someday be married. Right.
Anyway, Saturday evening, I came home and meant to do homework, but we all know what happens when I mean to do things. Basically, they don't get done. So in keeping with my ever-present habit, I opened my tax book and proceeded to lay on the couch and watch tv until I fell asleep. I did get up, however, to drag myself to bed and fall back asleep. I'm not a complete bum.
Sunday, I cleaned the apartment, which always takes hours longer than I think it will, because we accumulate so much crap over the course of a week. Aleem came home for a bit, we had lunch, hung out, then he left again for Portland. Sarah came over, and we went to Pac Place to watch Just Like Heaven, which is, admittedly, the ultimate never-gonna-happen chick flick, but I thought it was super cute and really funny. Went home and read for tax. (Okay, I went home and watched Laguna Beach reruns on DVR.)
Which takes us to this week! Aleem is in Portland till Thursday, so I've been flying solo. Had class on Monday, went to get Lisa fitted for her dress on Tuesday, and am now trying to procrasinate, because I have a crapload of reading to do for class tonight, but I really don't want to do it. Eventually, though, I guess the journal entry has got to come to an end, and since I have run out of Internet to surf, Fed tax will be my next recourse. Darn it. Or maybe there's something new on Nordstrom.com...
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A snippet from Kermit the Frog's interview:
Despite his fame, Kermit himself sounds like he hasn't gotten a big head. Turning 50 is nice, but so was 49, he muses, and he's happy riding in the backseat of the car and "not the trunk," he says.
So, has it gotten any easier being green?
It has if you keep the proper perspective on life, says Kermit.
"That song ['It's Not Easy Being Green'] is mostly about being happy with who you are," he says. "There have been lots of changes, but you just continue being true to yourself."
What's his secret? Like the frog he is, he says he stays close to his roots.
"It's easy to stay grounded when you're 18 inches high," he says.
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| Date: | 2005-08-24 19:21 |
| Subject: | My moods |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  calm |
Everything I've ever thought about myself (moodwise, anyway) is now validated... I knew there was a reason I was a lazy ass - uh, I mean, I knew that I had a low energy level for a reason!
Suzanne, your mood tends to swing between Calm & Happy.
Most of the time you feel calm. Your positive outlook on life is paired with a fairly low energy level. Although you might not realize it, your lower energy level is a positive attribute—it allows you to fully experience and appreciate your feelings of optimism. When you feel happy, you no doubt experience feelings of satisfaction and contentment as well as a positive outlook on life.
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Column in the Village Voice called "Natalie Does New York." It's hilarious, and I thought it just hit too close to home for me to not share it.
-----------------------------
Freshman in Life
I am insanely jealous of the Olsen twins. There, I said it. Are you happy now? I've come out, just like Star Jones Reynolds' husband should.
But back to the Olsen twins. I am jealous, not of their billion-dollar fortune, their pimped out pad, or their petite anorexic bodies luxuriously swathed in fabrics and designer bags. I am not jealous of their VIP status at Butter, a spread whose sweet fattiness has never passed between their lips. I am not even jealous of their syndication royalties or their close personal relationship with the star of the hit series Jake in Progress.
I am jealous because they are freshman in college and I, on the other hand, am a lowly freshman in life. I know how to be a freshman in college. Been there, done that, I'm an expert. But a freshman in life? That's another story. I've gone from irresponsible, carefree childhood to adulthood faster than Lindsay Lohan got skinny.
I'm not alone, of course. I am joined by thousands of others who, nearly a year ago, successfully accepted their diplomas after four, five and sometimes even six years of college. Yes, we declared, we have "found ourselves." There was pomp and there was circumstance. Hats were tossed and cheers erupted. The likes of Ted Koppel, Kofi Annan and Bono (yes, Bono) stood on commencement stages across the country and told us graduates to go forth with courage and strength. To gather the wisdom we culled smoking pot in frat house basements and conquer the world with faith and determination.
Except for Bono, who said, "You can build your own building, or hut, or condo, whatever."
And I believed this. I really believed I could build a hut. Or a condo. If I could only get on The Apprentice like that fucking kid from Harvard...
But I digress. Here I am, nine months later, out in the world, hoping to make it big. I finally have the endless freedom to chart my own course, but every once in a while, I find myself a little out of my element.
Suddenly my friends are throwing dinner parties left and right. They are preparing four-course meals in kitchens the size of Pomeranians equipped only with high tech toaster ovens and supersonic microwaves. Is this adulthood? Just because you can crumble feta over some lettuce does not mean you know how to do your taxes.
Last weekend, I attended a party thrown by three formerly surly college football players turned investment bankers. It was a wine and cheese tasting party. A year ago they would have scorned such an event. In college, a wine and cheese tasting party is a sign that you're a pretentious fuck. In the real world it's the perfect pre-dinner Saturday evening event. Something us post-grads are certain adults do all the time.
But when you're a freshman in life, the wine comes out of jugs, or liter bottles (behold the power of Yellowtail). The selection of cheeses, on the other hand, is not paired with the wine to delight and surprise your palate. In this instance there was a choice of three: cheddar, brie, and Kraft Singles.
"Cheese," a host told me, "is really fucking expensive." I nodded vigorously and pretended the Single I was holding was Roquefort.
Everyone stood around awkwardly playing with their Blackberries until one of our hosts broke out his trusty college funnel and began pounding wine as if it were Miller High Life. Though massively embarrassed for him, we were all a little more comfortable with the situation and gave a collective sigh of relief. Funnels belong in territory we understand; wine and cheese parties, on the other hand, we're still trying to figure out.
Another post-college tradition is the networking event. A few days ago, a close friend dragged me to an "industry" party. Not the kind of industry party where Paris Hilton takes her top off and lets people snort coke of her tits. That's the fun kind. This one was thrown by someone's assistant hoping to meet other people's assistants who's phone number they can email to themselves on their Blackberries on the off chance that the person they're speaking with can help advance their career. We did two loops of the place and when she quickly realized there was no one on the premises that could give her a raise, we were out like a boner in sweatpants.
We had to get to bed—we had work in the morning.
Using words like "career," expressions like "on an apples to apples basis" and investing in high price cheeses and personal digital assistants can at once be intimidating and exciting. To be thrown from a world with no old people (read: individuals over forty) into a world filled with old people (all of whom want to sleep with you) was not something we prepared for in college. But we will go forth with strength, dignity and nice, round, young asses. We will succeed in this world—eventually. For now, we are just learning how.
This message was sent from a Blackberry Wireless Handheld.
Posted by Natalie Krinsky at 07:02 AM, April 06, 2005
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| Date: | 2005-03-02 22:41 |
| Subject: | From The Notebook: a quote |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | peaceful |
"I am nothing special; of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough."
~The Notebook
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My little brother has a girlfriend!!! How incredibly cute! She is 16 years old, and attends Holy Names Academy... they met in confirmation class. I will get the scoop on Sunday, when we go watch a movie together. :D
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Well, this weekend was pretty fun. I got all my shopping and wrapping done - and I found the perfect gift wrap! I got lisa the Nike bag and the Nalgene bottle, and rented her a hotel room downtown for all her friends. I got Aleem the massage and pedicure at the Nordstrom Spa, which he absolutely loved, and a robe from Nordstrom, which he wore right after the shower he took immediately following the opening of the present. I think Lisa will love the stuff, which I figure she can use at the gym when she joins with me, and so all in all, I am pretty pleased with myself! I have a feeling Aleem is going to get me that kate spade bag that I was looking at in Nordstrom, which I am excited about - but I shouldn't be, because I might be completely wrong, but we'll see, I guess!
On Saturday, Aleem and I went to the W downtown, to celebrate Jill's bday. That was fun. That is, until I got kicked out because I didn't have my freakin ID. Man, I was so disappointed. Oh well, I downed my lemon drop, and we ordered Wing Dome for a late night snack. Delicious!
Sunday was Aleem's spa day. He really loved it, which totally made me happy. He's been so tired and stressed out lately, that I was glad to give him something that would relax him. Then we went to have a late lunch at Palomino's, where I enjoyed my usual - rigatoni bolognese - and ate a crapload of bread. Delicious! Then, we went to kill some time before the movie started, and we went to have drinks and hang out at the WAC. Surprisingly, it wasn't too bad. I actually had fun at this exclusive rich people's club, even though it kind of goes against all those elitist, snobby principles I so dislike! We played a few games of pool, and I kicked his butt. Of course. :) haha
From there, we walked to the theater and watched Hitch, which was HILARIOUS! I loved it. It got dangerously close to painfully sappy at the end, but then they ended it perfectly - with a soul train at Dougie's wedding that was just so funny. Good times!
Tonite, we're going to stay in and watch a video that we got from Netflix, order in some Japanese, and have a quiet night. I can't wait! Before that though, Lisa and I are going to have dinner with mom and Matt, and her friend Marylou, I think. I think we're going to go have Chinese! I have been craving honey court for the longest time. Yum!
After that, I think I might go along with Lisa to the Cheesecake Factory to share some strawberry shortcake with her. She's meeting a bunch of her friends there to have dessert before they go to the hotel. I really hope she has a good time.
If you read this, Lisa, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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Okay, so it was more like an imagining. Of a hypothetical. In another country. In other words, there was no "brush" with anything except the firemen's scarily weathered fire extinguishers. I was heating up some pasta - yes, at 11 at night - and the microwave wasn't working very well. Needless to say, I was very upset because my pasta was still cold, and I was hungry! So I stuck it in for another minute, and right after I took it out (still lukewarm, dammit) and closed the door, smoke came billowing out of the microwave, I heard a crackling sound, and all that was very quickly followed by a horrible acrid smell. The door wouldn't open, so I unplugged the microwave, and could see orange light flickering through the crack between the door and the rest of it. What do you do with a burning microwave? Our apartment manager didn't know, so we called the fire dept. How embarrassing. So, of course, I hurried around, picking up garbage and other things that didn't belong on the floor. And three huge guys came in full gear, carrying these heavy duty extinguishers, and oh my goodness I was so embarrassed. It was so not a big enough deal to warrant all this commotion.
Anyway, they disposed of the microwave - what do you do with it? Put it in the garbage? - and left nothing but a charred countertop. All's well that ends well.
Think that I'll go to bed on that note. I've started enough damage for one nite, I think.
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| Date: | 2004-12-09 16:06 |
| Subject: | Funny line |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  aggravated |
I've got an idea... an idea so smart, my head would explore if I even began to know what I was talking about.
I am feeling very irritated today, and I thought this line might help. It does, but not by much.
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| Date: | 2004-12-08 22:11 |
| Subject: | Another quarter over! |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  contemplative | | Music: | Christina Aguilera - My Kind of Christmas |
I just finished my Counseling final tonite. Yippee!!! Oh man was I stressing out this afternoon, when I found myself with two hours before the final, and only about an hour's worth of studying under my belt. Oh it was awful. So I did what any normal student would do. I went downstairs to the exam office, took four of the sprinkly Christmas cookies, and stuffed them down my throat while I panicked about not knowing one damn thing on the exam.
But it's over, and I could now care less. It's an ability I have developed over the years - to make myself crazy right before a test, then to give less than a rat's ass when it's over and done with. Of course, we'll see how it turned out, and of course, I cannot wait to see how I did.
I am seriously considering a program change. To Accounting. I would take the undergrad courses that constitute a minor in accounting, take the GMAT, then apply to the Master of Professional Accounting program at SU. I can't believe I am really considering it! But it's been on my mind for a long time, and I didn't realize how long I'd been talking about my dissatisfaction with my program until Aleem pointed out to me that I had talked to him about changing directions over six months ago. Right after I took that class that taught us how counselors were supposed to be. And I couldn't be it. We'll see, I guess. I think I might take a fundamentals of accounting principles class - it's an undergraduate class, and I know I'll feel silly doing it, but I really want to know if it's something I'd be interested in, and better yet, good at.
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Last weekend, Carolyn visited Seattle, wanting to get away from the yearlong luxury vacation that is Richland, and she stayed with me. I was really excited when she asked me if she could stay at my apartment, but I didn't want to hold my breath, in case she ended up not coming, and I was disappointed. But she did come over, and I didn't realize just how much I had been missing out on having girlfriends around until we hung out. I knew I was feeling pretty lonely lately, and just a little bit isolated. Having Aleem so far away, with phone conversations lasting just a few minutes every day, especially in the couple weeks, was really difficult. Lupe has her new baby to take care of, Lisa had eight million hours of class, work, and gym - plus she has her own friends, and could only hang out with her big sister so much. haha
But I had been feeling like this for awhile, and it was for that reason that I chose to go to the holiday reception - even though I never go to those things. It was at the Rainier Club this year, which is a really nice social club downtown, that I found out is "denim-free." Geez. And Aleem wants to join the WAC, which I hear is just as pretentious as, if not more so than, the Rainier Club. Plus I really like Rudy, and as it was kind of a goodbye reception for him, I wanted to go. I invited Liz to come with me, and I'm so glad she came, because we had just a great time. It kind of makes me chuckle to say this, but it was almost like one of the SBA socials - I did the whole meet and mingle thing, ran into Steve Burwell (who looks as good as ever, and on whom I crushed when he was still at SU) and Catherine, who, with her husband, were absolutely wonderful in trying to get Aleem a job at SVB. Liz and I hung out mostly with Phil and Melanie, Rudy's kids, and it was really just a good time all around. All those glasses of wine helped just a bit. After the reception, we went to visit her new boyfriend Trey, and the three of us and Trey's roomate Robert (who goes by Strauss) went to Madison Park and hung out at this pub-ish bar called The Attic. We sat around, ate a couple pounds of chicken wings, and I nursed a chardonnay, while the three of them zipped through a couple of pitchers of beer. I listened as Strauss described in idiot-proof language his research on virus cells that only kill ovarian cancer cells, and I pretended not to notice how childish Trey was being because Liz and I stayed too long at the reception, and she didn't call when she was supposed to. But he soon got over it, and we actually had a pretty good time. He apologized later, telling Liz to tell me that he couldn't believe what a dick he had been and that he looked forward to going out with Aleem and me. So we'll see!
The past few days have been really fun, and I'm glad I've been able to enjoy them.
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I just got that song. Santa Claus is her husband in costume! That's why it's so funny that the little kid singing the song is going to tell his dad that he saw his mom kissing Santa. Wow, sometimes I crack myself up... I just found this really cool internet radio station that plays through winamp, so it's going to be Christmas all day, every day until the big day itself! I am sooo excited. ha!
Well, nothing big happening - I have my presentation workshop tomorrow, but I'm not that worried about it. I may have had to suffer through meetings with Miss Thang constantly talking to her reflection in the window, but having six other people around me when we're up there will be comforting. Never mind that I still don't really have a good grasp on what we're trying to teach or what knowledge we're trying to impart.
I took Ceona to watch The Incredibles today, and it was still funny the second time around. She really enjoyed it too - I prefer to think it was my company, but I know better. :)
Nothing really going on in my head... I think that these past few days of inactivity have killed all remaining brain cells. Not that there were many to begin with. I am feeling a little antsy lately. Everytime I hear hip hop or r&b, which admittedly is not often, or when I let my imagination wander, I realize how LONG it's been since I've gone out, and how much I miss getting dressed up to go dancing. But Aleem hates dancing, because he's not very good at it and he just doesn't like that scene, although once in a very great while, he will indulge me and go dancing with me. I think the last time might have been that disaster weekend in February. Ugh
But I've really been wanting to go out, and ironically, I have no one to go out with. But Aleem is coming home soon, and hopefully his presence will curb my cravings for loud music and drunken dancing.
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| Date: | 2004-11-21 23:15 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  sleepy | | Music: | Christina Aguilera - The Voice Within |
I really miss Aleem.
Also, I hate calling Kenya - the connection is never very good. It's either unclear or very staticky.
Fortunately, he'll be back in Uganda next Monday, and will be coming home on December 6th. Hooray! Man, I am tired of writing. I feel that is all I have been doing the past few weeks. Every time I write in my journal, I have a paper (or two) due. Every time I tell people what I'm doing "this weekend," I'm inevitably writing a paper. This is the last paper I will have to write. Thank goodness. I just have a presentation workshop and a final exam - no sweat.
ha!
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| Date: | 2004-11-21 20:58 |
| Subject: | And once again... |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  cynical | | Music: | Alan Jackson - Kiss an Angel Good Mornin' |
I have a paper due. Tomorrow. So, clearly, another entry is due.
Yesterday, my sister and I took a bus downtown, and a man - this banker type guy - came on holding a flowerpot with some kind of flowers growing in it (daisy looking things, but they were red). Anyway, he apparently almost missed the bus, but the driver waited for him, so he was able to get on. He got on the bus, and expressed his appreciation to the driver, saying he was such a nice person and thank you. Lisa and I looked at each other - it isn't often you see such gratitude just laid out there. It was pleasantly surprising.
About 10 minutes later, a homeless man got onto the bus. He made a comment to the guy about what nice flowers he had. The guy thanked him, and offered them to him. The homeless guy took them, laughing, and took a moment to realize that the gentleman really was going to let him have the flowers. He said that they were actually his mom's so they were a present from his mom to the homeless guy. The guy went on and on about how thankful he was, and how he couldn't believe his generosity. It warmed my heart to hear this man, who could obviously afford to give away the flowers, say that it was his pleasure - no problem. How often do I walk by homeless people on the street, because it's easier than reaching into my pocket and pulling out a dollar that I will probably spend on soda or something. Or, even better, walk by the homeless guy only to stop and wait as Aleem pauses on the street and pulls out some coins. Countless times - I went to the UW, and we walk downtown all the time. What was he thinking, I wondered? Why did he give the man his flowers? Had this guy really escaped the cynicism that society beats into you day after day? Perhaps he was so happy with his job and his marriage that he decided to share the joy. Whatever it was, I was moved almost to tears. Which doesn't say a whole lot (I cried during the Lion King) but whatever.
And then it happened. The homeless man, now in possession of a flowerpot full of blooming buds, asks the giver if he could possibly trade him the flowers for a five dollar bill. For his mom, he said. Wouldn't ask for anything else, he said. If he could just have five bucks, he'd be happy. Over time, I have become cynical. Jaded. My favorite story about homeless people is the veteran who sits in the wheelchair selling roses for cash, or sometimes just asks for it, and who jumped up and chased a kid down the street who had taken his can of money. This is followed closely by the story of the man who holds up a sign saying that he is homeless when I have seen him coming out of his house on Othello, trying to catch the bus. And to add to my repertoire, even though it isn't my story, the woman outside Safeway who threw a coin away and asked 'what the hell she was supposed to do with that shit' when Aleem gave her a handful of change that must have included a Canadian coin. And the icing: went on to berate Aleem for giving her foreign currency.
Anyway, back to the story on the bus, which I think may become one of my favorites. The man gave the guy five bucks, and let him keep the flowers. A far better person than I...
Alright, enough slacking. Back to the paper.
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| Date: | 2004-11-18 23:46 |
| Subject: | |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | tired |
I hadn't talked to Aleem since Sunday night, when he left for Nairobi, and it had been almost four days! He got online tonite though, for about six minutes, then he had to go. They're in Tanzania right now, going to some lake. He says he hasn't seen a television or a newspaper in days, and that he's going crazy. Made me laugh. I gave him the major updates - Condi and Colin and how Jon Stewart is just having a field day with that one, the plan for a new national debt ceiling (I just wanted to say 800 BILLION because it's such a big exaggerated sounding number, and funnily enough, it's not at all exaggerated), and Tom Hanks will be playing Dr Robert Langdon in the Da Vinci Code. All the important stuff.
As for me, I didn't realize how much I missed his voice until I chatted with him... the desire to hear him was so strong, and I felt quite intensely how much I missed him. Just as well, though, because I have a paper due tomorrow, and I need to get it finished.
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...which is why I'm watching it instead of writing my paper. It's actually number 17 on my list of things to do when I'm trying to procrastinate. I should write out my list and publish.
There is so much swirling around in my head lately, with what we talked about in class about loss and transition, and what's going on with my girlfriends. But alas, I have a paper to write. I'm really going to try writing it too.
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| Date: | 2004-11-16 00:28 |
| Subject: | My horoscope |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: |  amused |
April 20 - May 20
If you're single, it's because you haven't found anyone you consider 'quality' -- and you won't settle. So when you meet someone who finally meets that description who isn't from your neck of the woods, don't worry. People move all the time.
This would have been frighteningly appropriate a year ago... now it's just kind of funny :)
I think this may be the first 24 hour period we've gone without any kind of communication, since we first started dating. Weird. I miss him. I hope internet cafes exist in Nairobi...
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| Date: | 2004-11-14 23:59 |
| Subject: | Random thoughts |
| Security: | Public |
| Mood: | lazy | | Music: | Stevie B. - Because I Love You |
Lupe gave me the Entertainment book as a thank you present for everything the past few months - it is awesome. The card she attached, though, is what I really loved. It was obviously carefully chosen, and the message she wrote just brought me to tears... never mind that I've been especially emotional recently :) I have been wanting this book ever since I saw online that I could use the Entertainment card to get 50% off the rack rate of a room at the Salish Lodge, this spa resort in Snoqualmie that Aleem and I have been wanting to stay at, but it's over $300 a night. Ouch. So I figured I might be willing to pay 185, especially if it's as nice as I have heard. We'll see. This is going to be transition time, while he finds a place to live and gets used to working full time. Wow, that is going to suck. He is going to be working six day weeks from now until tax time, and I can only imagine how drastic a change it's going to be... I mean, to go from the hardest decision you make in a day being which coffee house to go to to having to work on Saturdays... yuck. I wonder how he'll cope?
Anyway, he is on a flight to Nairobi now, starting the two and a half week vacation portion of this trip, where they'll visit game parks and go on safaris... how exciting that must be. I, on the other hand, am writing papers nonstop - I have one due tomorrow, one due Wednesday, although he might give us an extension until Friday, and another due next Monday. I swear they just keep coming. Luckily, after next Monday's paper, I think I have a break from class until after the Thanksgiving break, which will be nice. Except I have to do that stupid workshop with my group. Blech.
I hope I get something out of this paper that I just wrote. I think if I take some initiative, I can potentially really improve my life, and perhaps pin down that identity of mine that has been so elusive lately. Or maybe I just need to reflect a little more, and not be so afraid of not having all of the answers...
Anyway, I should be getting to bed... it isn't every day that I get to sleep early the day before I have something due.
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suzie22's journal
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